Justice for taxes

Taxes are the lifeblood of The State. Tax avoidance is vampirism.

I am Van Helsing.

The Justice for Taxes Network is an international organisation that fights tax vampires wherever they are.

We at the JTN have all been selected for our virtuous natures and unquestionable intelligence.

That’s why we’re all incredibly left wing. The right is full of immoral idiots. They shouldn’t be allowed to vote and I shan’t let them comment here.

Don’t talk to me about freedom of speech. It offends me, so shut your face you neoliberal sophist.

26 thoughts on “Justice for taxes

  1. ‘Please Sir?’ he said timidly raising his hand, ‘Was Tony Blair a good man? and was Gordon Brown a better man and did he save the UK from drought, disease and poverty? Sir? Ow, why did you hit me Sir?’

    Please Mr Richards, how are you so amazing?

  2. If you fight tax vampires, how do you kill them? With a steak through the heart? Is the steak subsidized by taxpayer money, and how many cows must die to eliminate one tax vampire? Do tax vampires live forever? I anxiously await your reply, and beg to remain your humble servant.

    • Property is always subsidised by taxpayer money. Nothing exists without taxes as I have recently proven.

      It is absurd to suggest that cows are harmed by Justice for Taxes Network.

      Tax vampires do not live “forever” but they can live “in perpetuity”

  3. No cows must die. Only horses from Romania. It’s the traditional way, now taxpayer-funded thanks to the EU. The French demand you use their garlic for purposes of “solidarité.”

  4. The only thing that lives in perpetuity is taxes. You claim that vampires live in perpetuity. Are you saying that taxes and vampires are the same thing? That would explain several withered corpses I found on my doorstep this morning.

  5. The truth that you speak is insufficient. Vampires do not pay taxes because they, like criminal, lunatics and peers of the realm are not enfranchised to vote. Clearly your truth must include the no taxation without representation clause, so justice is indeed being done. However, the chancellor’s proposed blood tax will indeed be harsh on the vampire community.

    • Nothing wrong with being harsh on vampires.

      They must pay their fair share, irrespective of what the laws say.

    • That is absurd and, quite frankly, sophistry.

      You are suggesting that we have some sort of vampire apartheid where vampires justly fight against oppression because they are denied the vote. That is wrong.

      Vampires propbably do vote, but they do not deserve to because they do not pay a fair level of tax. Which is dissimilar to lunatics who simply do not have taxable income.

      I think you will find that in every modern society it is widely acknowledged that the right of The State to taxation is superior ot any right of representation.

  6. Got it.

    Taxation *is* representation. If you’re taxed, you’re represented, even if you don’t vote.

    Therefore, vampires can only be represented by paying tax. And, since we all support representation (even of vampires) they must pay pay tax. Preferably lots of it.

    Genius!

  7. Dear Murphy,
    you are a real fighter for justice.
    I can`t understand why there are people who don`t understand that are the most competent person in the tax world of today. They should shut up and listen to you.
    Is ist true that you were offered to work as a professor at nine different universities all over europe ?
    All the best.

  8. Hi Murphy,
    i have heard that there is a conspiracy going on concerning tax avoidance. I have been informed that the Vatican and the Illuminati are involved; some big corporations have contacts to that ultra-secretive tax avoidance club, which meets in private and performs satanic rituals.
    Have you heard of that, too ?

  9. Hey Murphy,

    glad to see you are dong fine. I just found a blog by some guy named “richard murphy”. Why is this guy mocking you ? And why is he trying to destroy your work ?

    So bizarre.

    Best regards from New York,

    Killian

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