Here at the Institute of Fair Tax we have received some useful feedback (which for decency I cannot repeat here) that has given us a fabulous idea. Our patented Mark of Fair Tax methodology needs minimal changes to provide those engaging in coitus with a guarantee of a disease-free experience.
I hereby introduce the Mark of Safe Sex.
In the Mark of Fair Tax methodology we use a perfunctory glance at the corporation tax entries in the accounts as a proxy for whether a company is a good taxpayer for all taxes.
In exactly the same way, we ask individuals a simple question: “to your knowledge, do you have gonorrhoea?” If they answer “no” we will permit them to pay us lots of money for a sticker that states they are free of all sexually transmitted diseases.
So wherever you see the Mark of Safe Sex sticker you know that you can have unprotected intercourse without contracting any STDs. And all thanks to our foolproof methodology.
And thank you to Margaret Hodge who has signed an Early Day Motion asking the Government to demand the Pope endorse the Mark of Safe Sex and agree that it be made compulsory for all Catholics.
Anybody who doesn’t agree with the reliability of our method is obviously an apologist for HIV.