A lot of people are asking me about The Mark of Fair Tax and why Civil Society has appointed me to be arbiter of fairness.
They also have had the temerity to ask me how they know that I’m not just going to decide on a whim whether they get the Mark of Fair Tax. What these neoliberal imbeciles don’t understand is that is exactly what the methodology is. I just decide whether you get it or not, and then I take your money.
What, do you think I’m going to spend ages looking through the accounts and tax disclosure notes? Do you think that I would consider asking the applicants for some actual proof that they are not avoiding tax all over the place?
Of course I’m not going to do that.
I am just going to give the briefest of looks at the applicant and decide whether they are the sort of business that should receive the Mark of Fair Tax.
How long do you think that will take? Not long at all. That’s why the Mark of Fair Tax is so expensive. We need to provide a disincentive to every Tom, Dick and Harry applying for it. It’d just look like some worthless and meaningless sticker if everybody had it, wouldn’t it?
You see, tax is entirely subjective. And that means that I can quickly decide what is fair and what is not. There’s no point trying to pretend to be objective and to try and arrive at a decision using objective facts and principles, and to try ensure that the law is applied equally to all.
No, have a guess at what tax you should pay. If I like you, it’s a good guess. If I don’t, it’s a bad guess and you don’t get the Mark of Fair Tax.
That’s all tax is. So I’m not going to bother trying to explain any methodology because it’s just stuff I made up to try to make it look like we’ve got one.
Right, now stop wasting my time, I could’ve knocked out a hundred Marks of Fair Tax in the time it has taken me to talk to you lot.