One does not feel artistic today so one’s public must starve

I am constantly pestered to blog more than I do. “Please Murphy, we need a tax expert’s opinion on Ocado not paying any corporation tax” or “please Murphy, we need you to declare that Katie Hopkins is a bigot and give her the silent treatment” or “please Murphy, could you update your tax gap estimate because people are starting to say that you cannot repeat your method because it produces ludicrous results”.

But I shall not blog today, even when pestered, because blogging to me is an art.

That is to say, when I write, I completely ignore the confines of scientific reasoning and reflect reality as I see it and not necessarily as it is. Ah yes, I am almost tempted to draw a Venn diagram right now. But I shall not.

I repeatedly tell people that I blog in my own free time, which is why I am only able to blog ten or so times a day and explains why I simply do not have the time to use full-stops when I reply to comments.

Punctuation is a luxury I afford myself in writing a post, but it means that I have to get out of bed half an hour earlier than I would like.

And because I write this blog in my free time, it also means that I must incur the costs of running my blog out of my own post-tax income. Because it would be immoral to publicly claim that I have no business purpose in writing this blog (hence my free time) and then tell HMRC that the cost of my blog is incurred wholly and exclusively for the purposes of the business. That would make me some sort of liar, wouldn’t it?

So, obviously, I do no such thing. And HMRC should definitely not raise a discovery assessment on me and the other partners of Researches for Taxes UK disallowing all these costs that I publicly declare are private in nature.

I suppose also that, because I write in my free time as a private activity, I am not actually covered by my professional indemnity insurance or the limited liability protection afforded to me by my various business vehicles. Fortunately, everything I write here is factually correct. Except when I am flying a kite, of course.

When I fly a kite, I will present falsehoods unequivocally as truth and defend them blindly as such until I am obviously proven to be wrong in embarrassing fashion, at which point I will let you know that I am flying a kite so that people realise I knew I was just testing a hypothesis at the time rather than actually wrong. And that is not at all the same thing as being factually incorrect or amateurish and sloppy.

Oh look at the blog post I have written today! Step away Murphy before you spoil it. Not a brush stroke more!

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4 thoughts on “One does not feel artistic today so one’s public must starve

  1. I’m sure all your avid readers, like me, are disappointed at your inability to blog today.

    In the meantime, please use your free time to unwind. Perhaps a few hours running trains round the model railway in your home office (the room therefore advantageously not being used wholly for business purposes) in pointless monotonous loops might recharge your brain to its usual impressive Newtonian level? This might also provide inspiration for a blog on the unwarranted ad-hominem attack by the far right on railway workers on the Underground and on the lobster tan and beer belly of its union representative Bob Crow, who is forced to live in sub-standard social housing because his pay is too low?
    Ivan Bollocks particularly wanted me to tell you that he looks forward to your return to continue the good fight using the sword of truth to power.

  2. I’ve been browsing online more than 3 hours lately, yet I never found any
    attention-grabbing article like yours. It is pretty value enough for me.
    In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made good content
    as you did, the web shall be a lot more useful than ever before.

  3. A day without Murphy Richards is a day without sunshine ……. or rain …….. or most importantly to mankind, tax!

    It is almost an abuse of human rights ….. as it relates to members of civil society, of course.

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