I am constantly pestered to blog more than I do. “Please Murphy, we need a tax expert’s opinion on Ocado not paying any corporation tax” or “please Murphy, we need you to declare that Katie Hopkins is a bigot and give her the silent treatment” or “please Murphy, could you update your tax gap estimate because people are starting to say that you cannot repeat your method because it produces ludicrous results”.
But I shall not blog today, even when pestered, because blogging to me is an art.
That is to say, when I write, I completely ignore the confines of scientific reasoning and reflect reality as I see it and not necessarily as it is. Ah yes, I am almost tempted to draw a Venn diagram right now. But I shall not.
I repeatedly tell people that I blog in my own free time, which is why I am only able to blog ten or so times a day and explains why I simply do not have the time to use full-stops when I reply to comments.
Punctuation is a luxury I afford myself in writing a post, but it means that I have to get out of bed half an hour earlier than I would like.
And because I write this blog in my free time, it also means that I must incur the costs of running my blog out of my own post-tax income. Because it would be immoral to publicly claim that I have no business purpose in writing this blog (hence my free time) and then tell HMRC that the cost of my blog is incurred wholly and exclusively for the purposes of the business. That would make me some sort of liar, wouldn’t it?
So, obviously, I do no such thing. And HMRC should definitely not raise a discovery assessment on me and the other partners of Researches for Taxes UK disallowing all these costs that I publicly declare are private in nature.
I suppose also that, because I write in my free time as a private activity, I am not actually covered by my professional indemnity insurance or the limited liability protection afforded to me by my various business vehicles. Fortunately, everything I write here is factually correct. Except when I am flying a kite, of course.
When I fly a kite, I will present falsehoods unequivocally as truth and defend them blindly as such until I am obviously proven to be wrong in embarrassing fashion, at which point I will let you know that I am flying a kite so that people realise I knew I was just testing a hypothesis at the time rather than actually wrong. And that is not at all the same thing as being factually incorrect or amateurish and sloppy.
Oh look at the blog post I have written today! Step away Murphy before you spoil it. Not a brush stroke more!