Why aren’t paid lobbyists like me on the board of HMRC?

My new favourite source of newspaper column inches since I had a professional misunderstanding with The Guardian, The Mirror, reports:

A fatcat who helped energy firm Npower’s owners avoid millions of pounds in tax now sits on the board of HM Revenue and Customs – as an adviser to the Taxman.
Of course, they’ve misattributed some quotes to that neoliberal parody account of mine that pretends I know nothing about tax, law or economics. The thing that most upsets me about my lampooner is that he blatantly tries to cash in on his blog coverage with a massive advert of his book that links to Amazon of all places!

But my chief concern about this story is that this highlights that HMRC’s board does not contain enough individuals from political organisations or campaigns who can employ their complete ignorance of taxation and business in trying to make the tax system effective.

Instead, HMRC, a large organisation, have recruited people who have experience of running large organisations, and who also have practical experience of business. The inappropriateness of such appointments is self-apparent.

We need a clean sweep of the Board. And maybe we should accept Margaret Hodge’s suggestion of appointing people who have no incentive to sensationalise tax avoidance stories in the media in order to help sell their books. I think that sounds a very good idea.

Perhaps HMRC should be led by a high-profile, self-proclaimed tax expert who has shown consistently that he “certainly has a unique understanding of our legal system”.

A tax expert who has displayed his unparalleled logical abilities daily. In particular through a series of Venn diagrams that have left neoliberals dumbfounded in their misunderstanding of this simple logical tool learned in GCSE maths.

A tax expert who has not once tried to cash in on his notoriety in hypocritical and unethical fashion.

A tax expert who is so ethical that he constantly does not make unprofessional personal attacks on people for simply not agreeing with his opinions.

A tax expert who certainly does not refuse to acknowledge when his research is continually shown to be shoddy and amateurish.

A tax expert who… well, you get the idea. It’s me. Go on, give me a job.

What could possibly go wrong?


4 thoughts on “Why aren’t paid lobbyists like me on the board of HMRC?

  1. Absolutely you should be on the HMRC Board Murphy. Who else is going to go after the £1 TN Tax Gap in the UK you have so expertly discovered, audited and reconciled. If I have understood your recent writings, most of this huge Tax Gap is probably likely to end up (if not already) out of reach of the Tax Authorities in Bitcoins? Civil Society needs to speak truth to power here, loudly, and with the able assistance of your remarkable visual aids (I mean here the Venn diagrams and the mind maps).

    The appointment of shills for big business to the HMRC Board is a clear manifestation of the brick-shitters in action running the State of Cowardice that we now have in the UK, so innovatively exposed in your seminal publication The State of Courage. A suggestion here: perhaps you could make this philosophical masterpiece available only in digital format so that people do not attempt to evade VAT on purchase of the paper version?

  2. What a crazy world … the UK tax system could be improved by just apponting you to HMRC. But i am afraid that HMRC is already full of neoliberal, tax evading figures who have no idea of tax law at all. They are probably afraid fo you and your expertise, Muphy.

    And jealous.

  3. Pingback: An answer to Polly Toynbee’s question | The Justice for Taxes Network

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