Dear journalists…

Many journalists contact me for quotes on tax related stories. The reason for this is simple: I will willingly condemn anything based on something somebody has told me that I think may possibly be true, provided that I don’t like the person that the thing is about.

Candidly, I don’t need to look at the details and many of you are simply wasting my time by not simply telling me the name of the individuals or company involved so I can make my judgement based on that. I am not here to educate you about the tax system. I am here to condemn neoliberalism and sophistry wherever I see it.

So, to stop any of you journalists out there wasting my time, just fill out my standard comment yourself, deleting as appropriate, and then email it to me for my approval:

This Government says it is committed to [transparency/tackling tax avoidance/committed to fairness], but it is clear from its response to the actions of [insert name of multinational company or neoliberal] that it is quite happy for this sort of thing to go on.

If they were serious about tackling [whatever this sort of thing is] they would [enact my GRAPIST/introduce county-by-county reporting and shareholder-by-shareholder reporting/impose sanctions on [insert name of tax haven]/nationalise [whatever industry this sort of thing goes on in]]. I have long argued this in my books, The Joy of Being a Tax Expert, Cashing In and State of Courage, which are all available from Amazon.

Since they have not done this, I can only conclude that they are neoliberal sophists and are not truly committed to tackling [whatever this sort of thing is].

I will obviously not approve comments regarding Stemcor or Guardian Media Group. Or Ken Livingstone.

Or the Labour Party.

To save you further squandering my time, you should just read my entire blog from start to finish to consider whether your suggestion is compatible with my views.

And I do mean you too, Hugh Pym.

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