Starbollocks

I am angry. I am so angry I am using my dictation software today because I can’t be bothered to sit here and type out the stupid details to you morons as per usual.

The whole Star bucks thing shows how multinationals get away with tax avoidance because it is “within the letter of the law”.

It is a nonsense argument, because the law couldn’t be clearer that it doesn’t want companies to have deductions on am arms length basis.

Yes, it might say that in black and white in my copy of Yellow and Orange, but it’s clear what the law wants. It means the exact opposite, as it always does when the taxpayer may read and think “ooh that seems fair, at least I can get some certainty from this clearly worded set of rules detailing what I can and can’t get deductions for tax purposes” NO IT DOESN’T!!

You’re not a tax expert like I am. I say what the law means, not you with your fancy reading glasses and membership of the CIOT. Bog off.

I understand the law perfectly and yet all you “tax professionals” think I’m just some guy who never actually studied tax and doesn’t understand the law and isn’t very good at economics either. Well I am!

Apartheid was legal. So that means I can just ignore whatever any law says and say it is immoral, because that’s how it works. I’m the tax expert, not you.

The law isn’t moral so you should obey the spirit of the law.

I can’t be bothered explaining anything to you muppets today. None of you understand what it’s like being a tax Messiah. You don’t get what it’s like being the only one who gets what it’s like to have the tax law speak directly to you and to be one and the same as the tax law.

I am the tax law. And the tax law is me. I say what goes. The judiciary can sod off too.

What do those neoliberals know about the law. There’s no question mark there deliberately. I know the answer. Nothing.

Do they know anything about the law, NO!

And you, postman putting letters through my letter box. I know you work for Bono. These letters from HMRC debt management are fake. How could I Murphy Richards, tax expert, get my tax return wrong?

Dividends carry a tax credit equivalent to the corporation tax paid HMRC!! Do you know nothing?!

And what about the email telling me about my refund?? Why did you tale the money out instead? Bloody incompetent HM revenue and COUNTS!!

I know what I’m talking about. I bloody well know. I do.

I’m a tax expert. Bloody law. Stupid letter of the law. Doesn’t know what the piss it is talking about.

Stop. Stop. End. Don’t publish. Don’t.

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