One of the most popular things that people want right now is a crackdown on wealthy tax avoiders.
One smart arse said to me, “how do you know this isn’t happening right now? Do you even know what a tax crackdown would look like?”
I responded, “of course I know, I’m a renowned tax expert whereas you are merely a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Tax!”
What then followed was an hour or so of sophistry on their part and a similar amount of time of me telling them that they were a liar and a sophist and obviously wrong.
Besides, you don’t need to be a tax expert to know what a tax crackdown would look like. Ask UK Uncut, they know what they would like to see, and I’m right there with them.
What we want is to see Sir Phillip Green’s wife extradited to the UK and retrospectively treated as UK resident, ordinarily resident and domiciled.
We also want to see Jimmy Carr banged up for tax avoidance. We want to see Google pay tax on all of their income in the UK, not just their profits. We want to see Guernsey brought under control of the UK.
We want Anne Robinson to be burnt as a witch, along with Take That. We want all non-doms to be taxed on their worldwide income since birth do they can’t just rock up to the UK and start using the NHS for gender reassignment or whatever it us they do.
We want foreign products to be removed from the shelves so that profits cannot be transferred overseas for tax avoidance purposes. We want all Ireland based companies to be treated as UK companies. Why would you have headquarters in Dublin, for goodness sake?
We want Usain Bolt to be extraordinarily rendered to the UK to compete in a crappy little meet in Sheffield where he can only possibly win ten grand in prize money, and then tax him on ten percent of his worldwide sponsorship income.
We want dawn raids at Vodafone stores and Goldman Sachs. We want bankers taxed to make up for the money they have borrowed from us. We want the banks broken up and rendered impotent so they can’t ever impose Neoliberalism on or society again.
We want one hundred thousand tax inspectors recruited in order to assess properly each and every single millionaire on this country. Ideally, we’d like one inspector per millionaire. We can pay this through an annual “being a millionaire levy”, a flat rate of £50,000 per million pounds of assets.
This us what we want to see and we would like to see it now.
Is this what were going to see from the Conservative Party conference?
I think not. And we all know why. The Tories aren’t serious about tackling tax avoidance.